CROWDED THOUGHTS

Do I continue to push myself to the next limit? Or stay and develop relationships with people around me?  Do they have to be mutually exclusive? Am I only focusing on what I want at the moment and not thinking of my future? Am I selfish because I want to stay here? Is it God's calling that I want to stay here? Why do I want to stay here?

The question of the moment is: should I extend my studies in Seoul further for one more semester?

Right now I have a raging debate going on in my head and it doesn't seem to be ceasing any time soon.  It's been two months since I first arrived in Seoul and yet it feels like I've been here so much longer.  I have fallen into the pattern of daily life here, just like daily life was back at home.  University, friends and church. But why does it feel more natural here than it does anywhere else?

I spoke to my parents this evening and we discussed whether staying in Seoul was a good idea or not.  My dad is against it.  He wants me to go back to Adelaide, study hard and then apply for another exchange to England.  That was actually the initial plan - one semester in Korea and one semester in England.  However, I didn't get into the England exchange program so the Korea exchange took place first.  Now that I'm here, I find myself not wanting to leave so soon.  I feel like if I stayed here for one year, then I would be able to let Seoul go more easily than if I left only after five months.  One semester only gives a shallow taste of what Korea is like and thus I would feel extremely eager to go back,  but one year would leave a deeper impression and probably satisfy me for a longer period of time.  Of course, I don't know if that's actually true or whether that's just my 'logical' reasoning for staying.

My dad mentioned that I should also go to England for the additional cultural experience.  One semester in an Asian country and one semester in a European country would be extremely beneficial for my CV, but I'm thinking about if it's good for me on a relationship-with-other-people basis.  I don't like shallow relationships.  When I become friends with somebody, the first thing I want to do is have a D&M with them and learn about their life story.  Sounds kind of weird, but I want to be able to help them and connect with them on a level where words aren't needed.  So for me to make friends in one semester and leave makes me feel like I've violated one of my personal rules.  I knew that I would make friends here and have to leave them, but if there's an option of getting to know them further by staying here longer .....I want to take that choice.

P.S. sorry about not updating for so long.  I've had mid-term exams (which are OVER! ^^) so I haven't actually been doing much.  Hopefully I'll start taking photos of what I do everyday again so I can start posting more often :)