Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. —1 Peter 5:6
fd
I finally read the Bible again last night, on the eve of our Cambodia mission trip. It was kind of strange. The whole night I had been worrying and freaking out that I had forgotten something, or that everything would go wrong and that my dad would blow up due to the amount of stress he's under. When I opened up my devotional email (I get it emailed to me. Save the trees), the first two words I saw were Significant Surrender. It was almost like a slap in the face, but in a nice way. It was only then I remembered that I had forgotten to give up this mission to God. Instead, I was just trying to get through it by myself. I know I haven't been reading the Bible lately, and I guess this was the wake-up call I needed.
fd
As we set out on our mission trip, I think it's really important for me to keep lifting this mission to Him. I also have to remember that we are doing His work, not our own. Gratitude, recognition and praise should all go to him. For someone who likes to take credit for her work and for recognition of efforts, I think this will be really hard for me to do. All I can do is remember to keep reading the Bible, otherwise I'll go off again. I really don't want to live that kind of life anymore.
December 21, 2010
December 20, 2010
POINT THE FINGER AT YOURSELF
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” ~ John 8:2-11
I found out something about someone I really care about a few months ago, and at that time it felt like the world was going to end. I never imagined that this person could even think about this kind of activity, let alone perform it. During the time of my absolute shock and disbelief, I remember feeling so heavy and locked up inside. I needed to tell someone badly but couldn't find anyone suitable or trustworthy enough to tell. In the end, I ended up telling my mum about what happened. Like me, she was extremely shocked and together we started crying for this person. It was even harder for her because she had trusted this person a lot. I'm not going to disclose who this person is, and please don't try to guess who it is either, because the main point of this blog is not to frame but to work things out with God.
I don't understand why this person has chosen to lie continuously to me, but one of the most important lessons I have learnt from this experience is that I am not entitled to blame them. No one is. A lot of the time, I am surrounded by people who point and turn their noses up at other people who have done wrong in their lifetime. I myself am also guilty of doing this. What we don't remember is we are not perfect either. And if we ignore, gossip about or get angry with people who have wronged us, or done something offensive to us, then we are doing the exact same act to God. This person may have done something so unspeakable and so greatly sinful in our eyes, but to God, it is the same as our little white lies. A stolen look at a girl/boy, a second of hatred towards someone else - they are all the same.
It has been a long time since I've discovered the lie, and I can honestly say it wasn't easy to forgive. I know we should forget and forgive, but it doesn't come naturally to me. When it comes to circumstances such as these, my memory does not let it go easily. Even today, as I'm writing this post, I am not sure if I've truly forgiven them. All I know is that I am relieved to know that God is control of our lives, because if it were up to us, then we would all be extremely, extremely screwed.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” ~ John 8:2-11
I found out something about someone I really care about a few months ago, and at that time it felt like the world was going to end. I never imagined that this person could even think about this kind of activity, let alone perform it. During the time of my absolute shock and disbelief, I remember feeling so heavy and locked up inside. I needed to tell someone badly but couldn't find anyone suitable or trustworthy enough to tell. In the end, I ended up telling my mum about what happened. Like me, she was extremely shocked and together we started crying for this person. It was even harder for her because she had trusted this person a lot. I'm not going to disclose who this person is, and please don't try to guess who it is either, because the main point of this blog is not to frame but to work things out with God.
I don't understand why this person has chosen to lie continuously to me, but one of the most important lessons I have learnt from this experience is that I am not entitled to blame them. No one is. A lot of the time, I am surrounded by people who point and turn their noses up at other people who have done wrong in their lifetime. I myself am also guilty of doing this. What we don't remember is we are not perfect either. And if we ignore, gossip about or get angry with people who have wronged us, or done something offensive to us, then we are doing the exact same act to God. This person may have done something so unspeakable and so greatly sinful in our eyes, but to God, it is the same as our little white lies. A stolen look at a girl/boy, a second of hatred towards someone else - they are all the same.
It has been a long time since I've discovered the lie, and I can honestly say it wasn't easy to forgive. I know we should forget and forgive, but it doesn't come naturally to me. When it comes to circumstances such as these, my memory does not let it go easily. Even today, as I'm writing this post, I am not sure if I've truly forgiven them. All I know is that I am relieved to know that God is control of our lives, because if it were up to us, then we would all be extremely, extremely screwed.
December 19, 2010
TWO DAYS LEFT
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. ~ 1 Peter 5:8-9
fdsa
Time has flown by so quickly ever since the university semester finished. There are only two days left until I go on a mission trip with my church to Pnhom Penh in Cambodia. I remember thinking that it was going to ages until this time arrived, but now it has. And I'm not sure I'm particularly ready for it, both physically and spiritually.
fdsa
When we had our first meeting as a team, our team leader (who is also known to me as Dad) asked us to keep a devotional journal. We were supposed to write down what we learnt from our personal devotions, which we try to do daily. It took me a while to get started on that journal because I hadn't really been doing those daily devotions. Once I started, I realised that reading the Bible really did make a difference in my life. An obvious thing which I noticed was that I became a lot happier. I had stopped reading the Bible for quite some time already, and during that time I found myself really depressed and negative about myself. I told my mum about it one day, and she asked me to read the Bible. It was actually really amazing, because I remember reading the passage from that day's daily devotion and I completely related to it.
fdsa
"I really understand this passage. Ever since I’ve started reading the Bible again, it feels like God’s telling me all these things which are the reasons for why I’ve been so depressed. Today’s passage really hit home with me. I have become so self-obsessed and so isolated from the world that I failed to understand why people avoid me. God wants us to be like Jesus; to associate with everyone and to be friends with anyone. No one doesn’t deserve God’s love. " ~ October 14, 2010
fdsa
That was what I wrote after reading the Bible again. It was such a good feeling. Unfortunately, the reason why I'm writing this post is because I have again fallen into the trap of not doing my devotionals. And even worse is that we're leaving for the mission trip in two days time. I haven't done my devotionals for almost a month again. Somehow I've felt that because I'm not unhappy anymore, I don't need God. Even though I know I'm doing something wrong, I don't have the motivation to correct my mistake. I think about it now, and I realise Satan has won me over. It makes me feel so silly to think that I fell for Satan's trap. As a leader of CIA (our youth group) and as a Sunday School teacher, how could I have not done what I taught my students and my dongsaengs?
fdsa
I can't say I'm glad that I know I'm wrong now, because I know I've been wrong for a while. I am glad, however, that I now realise it was Satan trying to make me unprepared for this mission trip. I'm not trying to shift the blame though. I readily admit that I am not as strong of a Christian as some people might think I am and therefore easily tempted. I do pray that I am able to become a stronger Christian after this mission trip. I know that the mission trip alone won't make me stronger; rather, it will be my responsibility to pursue God's Word and live it in my life.
fdsa
Time has flown by so quickly ever since the university semester finished. There are only two days left until I go on a mission trip with my church to Pnhom Penh in Cambodia. I remember thinking that it was going to ages until this time arrived, but now it has. And I'm not sure I'm particularly ready for it, both physically and spiritually.
fdsa
When we had our first meeting as a team, our team leader (who is also known to me as Dad) asked us to keep a devotional journal. We were supposed to write down what we learnt from our personal devotions, which we try to do daily. It took me a while to get started on that journal because I hadn't really been doing those daily devotions. Once I started, I realised that reading the Bible really did make a difference in my life. An obvious thing which I noticed was that I became a lot happier. I had stopped reading the Bible for quite some time already, and during that time I found myself really depressed and negative about myself. I told my mum about it one day, and she asked me to read the Bible. It was actually really amazing, because I remember reading the passage from that day's daily devotion and I completely related to it.
fdsa
"I really understand this passage. Ever since I’ve started reading the Bible again, it feels like God’s telling me all these things which are the reasons for why I’ve been so depressed. Today’s passage really hit home with me. I have become so self-obsessed and so isolated from the world that I failed to understand why people avoid me. God wants us to be like Jesus; to associate with everyone and to be friends with anyone. No one doesn’t deserve God’s love. " ~ October 14, 2010
fdsa
That was what I wrote after reading the Bible again. It was such a good feeling. Unfortunately, the reason why I'm writing this post is because I have again fallen into the trap of not doing my devotionals. And even worse is that we're leaving for the mission trip in two days time. I haven't done my devotionals for almost a month again. Somehow I've felt that because I'm not unhappy anymore, I don't need God. Even though I know I'm doing something wrong, I don't have the motivation to correct my mistake. I think about it now, and I realise Satan has won me over. It makes me feel so silly to think that I fell for Satan's trap. As a leader of CIA (our youth group) and as a Sunday School teacher, how could I have not done what I taught my students and my dongsaengs?
fdsa
I can't say I'm glad that I know I'm wrong now, because I know I've been wrong for a while. I am glad, however, that I now realise it was Satan trying to make me unprepared for this mission trip. I'm not trying to shift the blame though. I readily admit that I am not as strong of a Christian as some people might think I am and therefore easily tempted. I do pray that I am able to become a stronger Christian after this mission trip. I know that the mission trip alone won't make me stronger; rather, it will be my responsibility to pursue God's Word and live it in my life.
December 18, 2010
INAUGURAL POST
A few words of commemoration.
To the mocha diary.
May you serve your purpose well. May you enlighten readers on delicious food, inspire them with interesting fashion and most importantly, be able to help others grow every day with their spiritual life and become the best Christian they can be. Cheers! *raises mocha mug*
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