"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

December 20, 2010

POINT THE FINGER AT YOURSELF

  At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
   At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
   “No one, sir,” she said.
   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” ~ John 8:2-11

I found out something about someone I really care about a few months ago, and at that time it felt like the world was going to end.  I never imagined that this person could even think about this kind of activity, let alone perform it.  During the time of my absolute shock and disbelief, I remember feeling so heavy and locked up inside.  I needed to tell someone badly but couldn't find anyone suitable or trustworthy enough to tell.  In the end, I ended up telling my mum about what happened.  Like me, she was extremely shocked and together we started crying for this person.  It was even harder for her because she had trusted this person a lot.  I'm not going to disclose who this person is, and please don't try to guess who it is either, because the main point of this blog is not to frame but to work things out with God.

I don't understand why this person has chosen to lie continuously to me, but one of the most important lessons I have learnt from this experience is that I am not entitled to blame them.  No one is.  A lot of the time, I am surrounded by people who point and turn their noses up at other people who have done wrong in their lifetime.  I myself am also guilty of doing this.  What we don't remember is we are not perfect either.  And if we ignore, gossip about or get angry with people who have wronged us, or done something offensive to us, then we are doing the exact same act to God.  This person may have done something so unspeakable and so greatly sinful in our eyes, but to God, it is the same as our little white lies.  A stolen look at a girl/boy, a second of hatred towards someone else - they are all the same.

It has been a long time since I've discovered the lie, and I can honestly say it wasn't easy to forgive.  I know we should forget and forgive, but it doesn't come naturally to me.  When it comes to circumstances such as these, my memory does not let it go easily.  Even today, as I'm writing this post, I am not sure if I've truly forgiven them.  All I know is that I am relieved to know that God is control of our lives, because if it were up to us, then we would all be extremely, extremely screwed.

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